Do You Know Who You’re Talking To?

To make disciples effectively, we have to know which of 5 groups we are trying to engage and their unique needs.

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

I’ve never been in a situation that required me to say “Do you know who you’re talking to?” I’m having trouble thinking of one where that wouldn’t sound arrogant or even ridiculous. But you’ve seen it or heard it in the movies, right? Some poor sap makes the mistake of addressing someone important in an impertinent way, and suddenly the VIP pulls rank with the assertion of their status.

When it comes to discipleship, we are not a respecter of persons and we don’t show favoritism (James 2:1–4). The CEO, celebrity, and the custodian all need the same grace from the same Savior. According to Jesus, the custodian will probably have an easier time accepting it, because “it is hard for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven,” (Matthew 19:23). There should never be a “VIP section” in church, with special access and perks (one of the many concerning things that came out from those awful Hillsong NYC stories).

But this does NOT mean that in our call to discipleship, we do not *distinguish* between who we’re speaking to. In fact, we must know who we’re addressing, how they uniquely must be addressed, and what we’re hoping to accomplish. To do anything less is to fail them. This isn’t playing favorites; it’s actually loving them by meeting them where they are. It’s key to helping them move forward in their discipleship.

We could slice up the groups of people we’re addressing in a variety of ways, but for simplicity’s sake, here are 5 groups to keep in mind:

1. The Apatheists. Whether or not they say they believe in God, they don’t know and they don’t particularly care (Romans 1:21). They may or may not be aware of your church or ministry, but getting them to show any interest is a challenge. Depending on which surveys you read, a significant number of professing Christians are functionally in this group.
2. The Curious. They are not believers. They have questions — lots of them. They have doubts, and fears, and probably some baggage. But they hang around on the edges, dipping their toes in, wanting to know more about this Jesus guy and the people who follow him. Jesus had many people like this following him, lingering at the edge of the crowd (Luke 9:11). Today, the first place they linger is online.
3. The Converts. They moved from dipping the toe to immersing the whole body — they’re in! But as Christ-followers, they haven’t done much yet. There’s a lot they don’t know. As spiritual babies, they need to be fed and nurtured into maturity, or they could end up stunted (1 Peter 2:2).
4. The Disciples. They are no longer spiritual infants, (Ephesians 4:14). They possess the spiritual maturity to be self-feeders. They display various marks of being disciples. However, there’s one more way to grow.
5. The Disciple-Makers. Their spiritual maturity is in full bloom as they reproduce other disciples. Their words & actions combine to indelibly impact those who listen to them as they say “Follow me as I follow Christ,” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

Each of these groups are unique not only in how they relate to Christ and the church, but also in their needs, desires, and personal investment. It stands to reason, then, that how you seek to engage with them must take that into account. Each communication you make as a leader and as an organization should primarily be addressed to one of these groups, and be shaped accordingly.

“But didn’t Jesus preach the gospel to all? Shouldn’t we do the same?” Yes of course. The ground is still level at the foot of the cross. If they are both spiritually curious, the CEO and the custodian should hear the same message.

But this is where I believe many of us go wrong, in the most well-intentioned of ways. Because of our (right) commitment to the gospel of grace to all, for all, we mistakenly communicate to everyone in the same way. The problem here is that Jesus did not do this, and neither have mature disciple-making movements ever since. Jesus preached broadly to the crowds, yes, but he also tailored the depth and demands of his discipleship to the 70, the 12, and the 3. To those outside, he tailored his message to the inquisitive Nicodemus, the know-it-all Rich Young Ruler, and the despised Zacchaeus.

To put it another way, many of us are still broadcasting when we should be thoughtfully “narrowcasting” by targeting our communication to specific groups online. Here are four principles to keep in mind when shaping your messages.

Focus on one group at a time.

Speak to individuals.

Aim for transformation, not merely information transfer.

Help them move to the next stage of discipleship.

What does this look like?

Let’s say you want to write a post or record a video on evangelism for your church’s blog. Who are you talking to? Is this about evangelism, helping Christians learn how to share their faith? Or is your post itself evangelistic? Once you’ve decided that you want to write something about how the Church has been the single greatest force for human dignity and freedom from oppression in human history, you realize this is for people who aren’t yet believers. You’d like to give the Curious some food for thought. This isn’t to say that other groups can’t benefit from your post, but this is your primary group.

Next, get even more specific. Write or speak to an individual. Think of a person or two in this Curious group — a friend, neighbor, family member. Have a conversation with them. What questions do they have? What concerns? What objections? What’s persuasive to them? The more specific you can be, the more your message will hit home.

Third, focus on transformation, not merely information transfer. Listen, I love content. I’m a content guy — I’m working on my third book! But content alone — yes, even content as good as yours — doesn’t change people. Putting it into practice does. Call people to put what you’re presenting into practice. When crafting your communication, think ahead about your CTA or “Call to Action” and build up to that. For our Curious person, it could be an invitation to read a book or some articles. Or an invitation to a conversation.

Finally, make sure your call to action helps lead this person to the next stage of their discipleship. Grace meets each person wherever they are, but it doesn’t leave us there. How can help people take that next step? For our Curious individual, we invite them to consider the claims of Christ, and how choosing to follow him will change their lives.

In future posts, we’ll take a closer look at different messages and mediums for each of these groups. We’ll also look at when to choose digital vs. in-person, and how to make those work together. In the meantime, (here’s your call to action!) compose your next communication with the five groups and four principles mentioned above in mind. If you’d like, send it to me and I’d be happy to give you some personalized feedback!

Thanks for reading this far. I’m aiming to post like this on a weekly basis. If you find it helpful, consider forwarding to someone else who might like it.